865. A group of muggleborns dress up as the Ghostbusters for Halloween. After explaining what the group is dressed as, all of Hogwart’s resident ghosts are extremely offended and refuse to talk to them.
WE NEED FEMINISM BECAUSE WHEN LANCE ARMSTRONG GOT CANCER AND LOST A TESTICLE IT WAS ALL ABOUT HIS HEALTH AND HOW INSPIRATIONAL HE WAS BUT WHEN ANGELINA JOLIE GETS A DOUBLE MASTECTOMY TO PREVENT HERSELF FROM GETTING CANCER, IT’S ALL ABOUT HOW SHE WON’T BE A SEX SYMBOL ANYMORE AND HOW MEN ARE OFFENDED CAUSE SHE WON’T BE AN OBJECT FOR THEM
I’m pretty sure I reblog this already but this need to be reblog again
The next time a man starts yelling at you, cut him off and tell him you just can’t talk to him when he’s being so emotional.
I have done this and can confirm that is a LOT of fun to watch them implode afterward.
Bonus points: Tell them you think it’s cute when they get so angry.
Extra credit: Tell them to “calm down.”
- (A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
- “Damn f**s.”
- “Excuse me?”
- “You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
- *quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
- “Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
- (The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
- *to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
- (Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
- “I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
- “Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
- “Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
- (The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)